What if the 4th of July was on Friday the 13th D:
Whose the fucking idiot who said this? How can u have two dates together?
have u ever fuckin heard of a double date
i remember when i was 14 this kid asked me out and i told him i wasnt allowed to date till i was 16 and he said “i’ll wait.”
two years later he wished me a happy birthday and asked me out
did you say yes
DID YOU FUCKING SAY YES
I Don’t Understand Young People And They Scare Me: I Just Want To Live In The Past Forever
today I went to olive garden and there was a man wearing a fedora behind me and my mother whispered to me “why is that man wearing a hat we are indoors I don’t understand” and he whipped around with all seriousness and said “twilight sparkle came to me in a dream and requested that I wear this crown for the duration of the evening” and me, not knowing what to do just said “ok” but then the guy started laughing and he was like “I’m just kidding I just like hats”
Kim Driscoll, mayor of Salem, Massachusetts, began receiving homophobic abuse over the telephone after cancelling a contract with a local college over their anti-gay position. Their president had supported a small group of homophobes requesting that a ‘religious exemption’ clause…
Mr. Krabs displays his mastery of alchemy by transmuting eight Krabby Patties into a single pizza, such is the law of equivalent exchange.
what if you died and the last thing you did was make someone feel bad about themselves
Me using my last breaths: This is the last time you’re gonna see me and you wore that?
*when you and ur iPhone cuddling*
iPhone: runs out of (battery emoji)
you: c’mon bae…..,*tickles power button*…….I ain’t finished
iphone: *groans and lifts blanket over head* bae I’m sleepy I got work in the morning hun you know that baby
you: aight baby I respect dat *kisses*
iPhone: get that charger out my ass boy
you: *wants to listen to drake but can’t cuz like ^^^ all that shit that just happened*
the first time i watched frozen i was at a friends house and we were watching it on netflix or something but she fell asleep halfway through and when it was over i couldnt find the controller. there was a bunch of extra features so i ended up having to listen to ‘let it go’ in like 6 different languages and watch 45 minutes of “how frozen was made” as if watching the actual movie wasnt terrible enough i was subjected to this cruel torture
when someone posts an unpopular opinion i agree with
funny story my 5th grade elementary school teacher was the one who figured out i had crazy bad adhd
i hope she’s doing well